A man is talking to God.
The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute."
The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."
The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
God: "Wait a minute."
Thursday, April 30, 2015
Friday, April 17, 2015
[Humor] New Car for $10
A woman offered a brand-new car for sale for a price of ten dollars.
A man answered the ad, but he was slightly disbelieving.
"What's the gimmick?" he inquired.
"No gimmick," the woman answered. "My husband died, and in his will he asked that the car be sold and the money go to his secretary."
A man answered the ad, but he was slightly disbelieving.
"What's the gimmick?" he inquired.
"No gimmick," the woman answered. "My husband died, and in his will he asked that the car be sold and the money go to his secretary."
Saturday, April 11, 2015
[Humor] Cartwheel
One day a little girl came running into her house yelling, "Mommy, I got five dollars!"
The mother was curious, so she asked her child where she got the five dollars from.
The little girl replied: ''Tommy down the street gave me five dollars for doing cartwheel while he sat in the tree.
The mother told her daughter: "Don't you know that Tommy is just trying to see your panties."
''OOOOhhhh'' said the little girl.
The next day the little girl came running into the house yelling, "Mommy, I got ten dollars. The mother asked, "Where did you get the ten dollars from?"
The little girl replied, "Tommy down the street gave me ten dollars for doing a cartwheel while he sat up in the tree and laughed."
The mother replied: "Didn't I tell you that he is...''
Before the mother could finish, the little girl said, ''Wait Mommy! I tricked him, I didn't wear any panties today.''
The mother was curious, so she asked her child where she got the five dollars from.
The little girl replied: ''Tommy down the street gave me five dollars for doing cartwheel while he sat in the tree.
The mother told her daughter: "Don't you know that Tommy is just trying to see your panties."
''OOOOhhhh'' said the little girl.
The next day the little girl came running into the house yelling, "Mommy, I got ten dollars. The mother asked, "Where did you get the ten dollars from?"
The little girl replied, "Tommy down the street gave me ten dollars for doing a cartwheel while he sat up in the tree and laughed."
The mother replied: "Didn't I tell you that he is...''
Before the mother could finish, the little girl said, ''Wait Mommy! I tricked him, I didn't wear any panties today.''
Friday, April 3, 2015
Thursday, April 2, 2015
[Humor] Unless I see...
MAN: I'd like to buy some dog food.
CHECKOUT LADY: Do you have a dog?
MAN: Yes.
CHECKOUT LADY: Where is he?
MAN: He's at home.
CHECKOUT LADY: I'm sorry; I can't sell this dog food to you unless I see the dog. Store policy.
The next day, the man returns.
MAN: I'd like to buy this.
CHECKOUT LADY: Do you have a cat?
MAN: Yes.
CHECKOUT LADY: Well...where is he?
MAN: He's at home!
CHECKOUT LADY: Sorry, I can't sell this cat food to you unless I see your cat.
The next day the man returns.
CHECKOUT LADY: What's in the sack?
MAN: Put your hand inside.
CHECKOUT LADY: Hmmm.It's warm and moist! What is it?
MAN: I would like to buy some toilet paper.
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