[Humor] A Norwegian

A Norwegian was about to be a father for the first time.

This was during the soccer World Cup.

His friend visited him and asked him, what if your wife is having the baby the same day we play Brazil in the quarter final?

The guy said, don`t worry, I just bought a VCR, I can watch the birth after the game!

[Humor] A young boy and a motorcycle

A young boy had just got his driver's permit and inquired of his father, if they could discuss the possibility of buying a motorcycle.

His father took him to the study and said to the boy, "I'll make a deal with you, son. You bring your grades up from a C to a B-average, study your Bible a little, and get your hair cut and we'll talk about the motorcycle."

Well, the boy thought about that for a moment and decided that he'd best settle for the offer, and they agreed.

After about six weeks the boy came back and again asked his father about the motorcycle. Again they went to the study where his father said, "Son, I've been real proud of you. You've brought your grades up, and I've observed that you've been studying your Bible and participating a lot more in the Bible study class on Sunday morning. But I'm real disappointed seeing as you haven't got your hair cut."

The young man paused a moment and then said, "You know, Dad, I've been thinking about that, and I've noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, and there's even strong argument that Jesus Himself had long hair."

To which his father replied, "You're right, son. Did you also notice that they all WALKED everywhere they went?"

[Humor] A little boy

A farmer was driving along the road with a load of fertilizer.
A little boy, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?"

"Fertilizer," the farmer replied.
"What are you going to do with it?" asked the little boy.

"Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer.
"You ought to live here," the little boy advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours."

[Humor] Something that I didn't do

A little girl came home from school and said to her mother, "Mommy, today in school I was punished for something that I didn't do."

The mother exclaimed, "But that's terrible! I'm going to have a talk with your teacher about this ... by the way, what was it that you didn't do?"

The little girl replied, "My homework."

[Humor] A little boy and God

One day a little boy asks his mom questions about God.

He goes up to his mother and asks, "Mom, is God boy or girl?"

Not really know what to say the mother just says, "Well, son, he's boy and girl."

So he asks his mother, "Mom, is God black or white?"

Again not really knowing what to say, the mother tells her son, "Well, son, he's black and white."

So the little boy looks at his mother as though he finally understands and says, "Ohhhh, I didn't know that God was Michael Jackson!"

A wise old gentleman

A wise old gentleman

A wise old gentleman retired and purchased a modest home near a junior high school. He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace and contentment. Then a new school year began. The very next afternoon three young boys, full of youthful, after-school enthusiasm, came down his street, beating merrily on every trashcan they encountered. The crashing percussion continued day after day, until finally the wise old man decided it was time to take some action.

The next afternoon, he walked out to meet the young percussionists as they banged their way down the street.

Stopping them, he said, "You kids are a lot of fun. I like to see you express your exuberance like that. In fact, I used to do the same thing when I was your age. Will you do me a favor? I'll give you each a dollar if you'll promise to come around every day and do your thing."

The kids were elated and continued to do a bang-up job on the trashcans.

After a few days, the old-timer greeted the kids again, but this time he had a sad smile on his face. "This recession's really putting a big dent in my income," he told them. "From now on, I'll only be able to pay you 50 cents to beat on the cans."

The noisemakers were obviously displeased, but they accepted his offer and continued their afternoon ruckus.

A few days later, the wily retiree approached them again as they drummed their way down the street.

"Look," he said, "I haven't received my Social Security check yet, so I'm not going to be able to give you more than 25 cents. Will that be okay?"

"A freaking' quarter?" the drum leader exclaimed. "If you think we're going to waste our time, beating these cans around for a quarter, you're nuts! No way, dude. We quit!"

And the old man enjoyed peace and serenity for the rest of his days.

[Humor] Creditor

Creditor An American couple is flying to New Zealand for a two-week vacation to celebrate their anniversary. Suddenly, over the public address system, the captain announces, “Ladies and Gentlemen, I have very bad news. Our engines have ceased to function and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an island below us we should be able to land on the beach. However, we may never be rescued.” Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely. An hour later, the man turns to his wife and asks, “Did we pay our credit cards?” “No, I forgot to do that.” Then the man grabs her and gives her a big kiss. “They’ll find us!”