Light Bulb

Light Bulb

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Two, one to hold the light bulb and one to spin the ladder around!

Cutting Pizza

Cutting Pizza

A blonde went to buy a Pizza and after ordering, the assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

"Six please" she said, "I could never eat twelve!"

Speeding Ticket

Speeding Ticket

A blonde was speeding on the highway when a police car pulled her over.

The policeman walks up to the blonde and says "Excuse m'am, could I please see your driving license and registration."

The blonde looks at the policeman angrily and says "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

Passed Away

Passed Away

Sally goes to work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss, concerned his employee, walks over to her and asks sympathetically, "What's the matter?" The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call that my mother had passed away."

The boss, feeling very sorry at this point suggests to the young girl, "Why don't you go home for the day...we aren't terribly busy. Just take
the day off and go relax."

Sally very calmly states, "No I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind busy and I have the best chance of doing that here."

The boss agrees and allows her to work as usual. "If you need anything just let me know" says the boss.

A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on Sally. He looks out his office and sees her crying hysterically.

He rushes over an asks, "What's the matter now? Are you going to be ok?"

Sally breaks down in tears. "I just received a horrible call from my sister. She said that her mom died too!!"

Blonde Q&A

Blonde Q&A

Q: What do you call an eternity?
A: Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.

Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.

Q: What do SMART Blondes and UFOs have in common?
A: You always hear about them but never see them.

Q: Why do Blondes always smile during lightning storms?
A: They think their picture is being taken.

Magic Mirror

Magic Mirror

There was this bar and in the bar there was a magic mirror.

If you told a lie it would suck you in.

One day a brunette walked into this bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

The next day a redhead walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think I'm the most beautiful woman in the world' and it sucked her in.

Then the next day a blond walked into the bar. She walked up to the mirror and said 'I think...' and it sucked her in.

Another Chance

Another Chance

One day a big group of blondes met in New York to show the world that blondes aren't dumb.
They begged: "Ask any of us any question, and we will show you that we're not dumb."

The group caught the attention of a passer by, who volunteered to ask them some questions. He climbed up on a car and randomly picked a blonde out of the crowd.
She got up on the car too and the man asked: "What is the first month of the year?"
The blonde responded: "November?"

"Nope," said the man. At this point the crowd began to chant, "Give her another chance, give her another chance."

So the man asked: "What is the capital of the U.S.A ?"
The blonde responded: "Paris?"
So the crowd began chanting again: "Give her another chance, give her another chance."

The man said: "Okay, but this is the last one. What is one plus one?"
The blonde replied: "Two?"

“Give her another chance, Give her another chance." screamed the crowd.