My love

She sent the following message while waiting for her train:

My love

If you are sleeping, send me your dreams
If you are smiling, send me your smile
If you are crying, send me your tears

I love you

He replied:

A Blonde in the Library

A blonde walked up to the front desk of the library and said, "I borrowed a book last week, but it was the most boring I've ever read. There was no story whatsoever, and there were far too many characters!"

The Librarian replied, "oh, you must be the person who took our phone book."

The elderly man and his wife

While on a car trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, the elderly woman left her glasses on the table, but she didn't miss them until they were back on the highway. By then, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around.

The elderly man fussed and complained all the way back to the restaurant. He called his wife every bad name he could think of.

When they finally arrived at the restaurant, as the woman got out of the car to retrieve her glasses, the man yelled to her,

"While you're in there, you might as well get my hat, too."

A shy little boy

A shy little 4-year-old came in to the dentist for his first cleaning and check-up.

The hygienist tried to strike up a conversation but no re-sponse.

After the cleaning, the dentist was called in to do the final check.

The dentist tried to strike up a conversation as well. "How old are you?" No response.

The dentist then asked, "Don't you know how old you are?"

Immediately four tiny fingers went up. "Oh," replied the dentist, "and do you know how old that is?"

Four little fingers went up once again.

Continuing the effort to get a response, the dentist asked, "Can you talk?"

The solemn little patient looked at him and asked, "Yes. Can you count?"

A blonde and a scale

A blonde holding a baby walks into a drug store and asks the clerk if she can use the store's baby scale.

"Sorry, ma'am," says the clerk. "Our baby scale is broken. But we can figure the baby's weight if we weigh mother and baby together on the adult scale, and then weigh the mother alone, and subtract the second number from the first."

"Oh, that won't work," says the blonde.

"Why not?" asks the clerk.

"Because," she answers, "I'm not the mother - I'm the aunt."

An old man and his wife

An old man and his wife

An old man is afraid that his wife is loosing her hearing. So, he walks up right to her ear and asks, "Can you hear me?"

She didn't answer. He walked up closer and asked again. But there was no answer.

Finally he asked her one more time really loud and his wife said, "for the third time yes!!!"

Hello UFO

Hello UFO

A flying saucer landed at a gas station on a lonely country road. The two space aliens inside seemed completely unconcerned about detection; in fact, the letters "UFO" were emblazoned in big, bold letters on one side of their shiny craft. As the station owner stood and gawked in silence, paralyzed with shock, his young, blonde attendant nonchalantly filled up the tank and then waved to the two aliens as they took off.

"Do you realize what just happened?" the station owner finally uttered. "Yeah," said the blonde attendant. "So?"
"Didn't you see the space aliens in that vehicle?!"

"Yeah," repeated the blonde. "So?"

"Didn't you see the letters 'UFO' on the side of that vehicle?!"

"Yeah," repeated the blonde attendant. "So?"

"Don't you know what 'UFO' means?!"

The blonde attendant rolled her eyes. "Good grief, boss! I've been working here for five years. Of course I know what 'UFO' means - it means 'Unleaded Fuel Only'.

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