Star, Will Rogers

I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago.

- Will Rogers (1879-1935)

Food·Dieting, Groucho Marx

Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

- Groucho Marx (1890-1977)

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Time flies like an arrow.

- English Proverb

[Humor] On the airplane

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?"
"Oh, I don't know", said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK". she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, the same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

The stranger thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."
To which the little girl replies, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

어떤 승객이 비행기에서 꼬마 소녀 옆에 앉아 있었는데 그 승객이 소녀를 돌아보 며 말했다, "이야기 해볼까, 옆자리 승객과 대화를 나누다보면 비행기가 더 빨 리 간다고 들었거든."

막 책을 펼쳤던 그 소녀는 책을 천천히 덮으며 그 승객에게 말했다, "무슨 이야기를 하고 싶으세요?"
그 승객이 말했다, "아, 글쎄.. 원자력에 대해서는 어때?"

소녀가 말했다, "좋아요, 그거 재미있는 화재가 될거예요, 그렇지만 제가 먼저 물어볼게 있어요, 말과, 소와 사슴은 모두 풀, 즉 같은 음식을 먹습니다. 그렇지만, 사슴은 작은 알약같은 똥을 누고, 소는 둥글 넓적한 똥을 누고, 말은 건초 덩어리 똥을 누는데 왜 그렇다고 생각하시죠?"

그 승객은 생각해 보더니 말했다, "흠, 모르겠는데."
그말에 소녀가 대답했다, "아저씨는 똥도 모르면서 진정 원자력을 논할 자격이 있다고 생각하세요?"

[Humor] A man and his wife

A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.

Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, 'Please wake me at 5:00 AM .'
He left it where he knew she would find it.

The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.

Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

The paper said, 'It is 5:00 AM . Wake up.'

Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

[Humor] A man is talking to God.

A man is talking to God.

The man: "God, how long is a million years?"
God: "To me, it's about a minute."

The man: "God, how much is a million dollars?"
God: "To me it's a penny."

The man: "God, may I have a penny?"
God: "Wait a minute."

[Humor] New Car for $10

A woman offered a brand-new car for sale for a price of ten dollars.

A man answered the ad, but he was slightly disbelieving.

"What's the gimmick?" he inquired.

"No gimmick," the woman answered. "My husband died, and in his will he asked that the car be sold and the money go to his secretary."

[Humor] Cartwheel

One day a little girl came running into her house yelling, "Mommy, I got five dollars!"
The mother was curious, so she asked her child where she got the five dollars from.

The little girl replied: ''Tommy down the street gave me five dollars for doing cartwheel while he sat in the tree.
The mother told her daughter: "Don't you know that Tommy is just trying to see your panties."
''OOOOhhhh'' said the little girl.

The next day the little girl came running into the house yelling, "Mommy, I got ten dollars. The mother asked, "Where did you get the ten dollars from?"
The little girl replied, "Tommy down the street gave me ten dollars for doing a cartwheel while he sat up in the tree and laughed."

The mother replied: "Didn't I tell you that he is...''
Before the mother could finish, the little girl said, ''Wait Mommy! I tricked him, I didn't wear any panties today.''